Where am I? (TBC): Constant Output Two

I breathe in the fragile luminosity that resides in a brittle soul. My peaked symptoms of deep and brutal anxiety meets its final match today.

From dirty depression to over achieving self-equilibrium, I find myself stuck at the top of a mountain of great ascent. At the bottom, a clear and warm body of water reside, filled with pure bliss and crystal like rocks, reflecting into the deepest parts of my eyes.

From here, I find myself. I find what true self understanding and desire actually is. How can I be an active supporter of love and appreciation when I lack the fundamentals to a strong mind?

Nevertheless, there seems to be a breach in my journey through mental health. I can’t seem to reach the end; I need to find a way to get to the bottom of this peak. “Help me!” I scream. An echo rings through this desolate environment. Im alone. Then, it hits me; I need to apply virgo energy in order to manufacture a secure device to safely send me down this mountain. And so, I use the tools of a new year to get me to my place of peace.

2021, I welcome you with open arms, using you as a sled to propel me down the great mountain of life. Use me as a safety net, and make me feel secure in my travels. I see the water clearer now, its almost like I can touch it. Go faster sled! we are almost there! Hold me in your secure plastic shell while we blast through this descent.

we finally found a place to rest. I reach into the sled compartment and find a flash light. Really? A flash light? Anyways, I place it back into its sealed compartment and fall into a deep nap. Hours later I wake up. As I look around I see dark matter. “where are the rocks?” I ask. “ where is the clear and warm water?”. I pull the flashlight out and structure it to the front of the sled. Im not stopping now. I pull myself out of my tired state and begin my descent again, holding on to the last piece of hope in my body…


-Joshua Heningburg